Dear Laundry

Dear Laundry,
     I've been washing, drying, folding and putting you away for nearly 40 years, since clearly there will be no end to you until I take my last breath I have decided to look into other avenues of dealing with you. I've narrowed down the choices to either hiring someone to deal with you for me or becoming a nudist and pretty much eliminating 90% of you.
     Hiring a laundress (and yes, they still exist) can be costly, as much as $20-$25 per hour which would strain my budget beyond it's already thin limits, but oh the joy of not having to deal with the never-ending cycle would bring me much delight.
     And then there is the nudist option, eschewing clothing all together and hanging out around the house in the altogether. The two issues I have with this idea are 1.) we have kids living at home and I'm pretty sure seeing their naked parents hanging out in the living room watching Nascar and reruns of Leverage all weekend would scar them for life and 2.) people tend to just pop by for a visit while they're in the neighborhood which might prove to be a tad awkward for them especially when we serve refreshments: "Hey, can I get you a drink?" followed by "whoops, sorry I dipped my tit in your wine".
     Okay so clearly these avenues are a bit flawed, so until I can think of a better solution I guess I'm stuck being my own damn laundress. Oh well, such is life.
Forever yours,
Lyndie