Saturday, September 6, 2014

Dear next-door neighbors

Dear next-door neighbors,
Your dog hasn't stopped barking for several hours and quite frankly it's making me more than a little bonkers...and a bonkers Lyndie is a bad thing, trust me. Judging by the cars in your driveway and on your lawn at least one of you must be home so quieting your dog would be a kind of nice thing to do, but if you don't want to then please remember while I can be a bitch, Karma is a worse one.
Thoughtfully yours,
The Karma loving bitch next-door

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Dear Fox Network

Dear Fox Network,
Thank you for bringing the new reality show Utopia to your viewing audience. I'm sure my addiction to the live feeds will translate nicely to the twice-weekly broadcast episodes. I'm looking forward to the day when Dave and Red are gone as they are loose cannons in the compound even though I am sure that the ex-con and the marijuana grower teaming up to create chaos is probably ratings gold, I'd still rather watch Bella meltdown and cry then to watch Dave and Red destroy canned food in a fit of rage over radishes and sweet potatoes.
Good luck with your new series, I hope it brings in many viewers.
Sincerely,
The woman who used to have a life before internet live feeds of reality shows